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 Post subject: Re: Jokes Break :D
PostPosted: Tue Aug 09, 2011 8:45 am 
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The human mind ordinarily operates at only ten 10% of its capacity, the rest is overhead for the operating system.

If God had intended humans to program, we would be born with serial I/O ports.

Deliver yesterday, code today, think tomorrow.

A guy is standing on the corner of the street smoking one cigarette after another. A lady walking by notices him and says
"Hey, don't you know that those things can kill you? I mean, didn't you see the giant warning on the box?!"
"That's OK" says the guy, puffing casually "I'm a computer programmer"
"So? What's that got to do with anything?"
"We don't care about warnings. We only care about errors."

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes Break :D
PostPosted: Tue Aug 09, 2011 8:45 am 
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 Post subject: Re: Jokes Break :D
PostPosted: Thu Aug 11, 2011 9:36 am 
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A woman asks her husband to go shopping:
"Dear, please go to the grocery store and buy some bread. Also, if they have eggs, buy 6."
"Ok, hon."

Twenty minutes later, the husband comes back carrying 6 loaves of bread.
His wife is flabbergasted.
"Dear, why on earth did you buy 6 loaves of bread?"
"They had eggs."

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes Break :D
PostPosted: Thu Aug 11, 2011 9:38 am 
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A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he’s lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"

The man below says: "Yes. You're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."

"You must work in Information Technology," says the balloonist.

"I do" replies the man. "How did you know?"

"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but It's of no use to anyone."

The man below replies, "You must work in management."

"I do," replies the balloonist, "But how'd you know?"

"Well", says the man, "you don’t know where you are, or where you’re going, you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault."

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes Break :D
PostPosted: Thu Aug 11, 2011 9:40 am 
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Image

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes Break :D
PostPosted: Thu Aug 11, 2011 9:57 am 
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I'd like to make the world a better place, but they won't give me the source code.

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes Break :D
PostPosted: Thu Aug 11, 2011 9:57 am 
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 Post subject: Re: Jokes Break :D
PostPosted: Thu Aug 11, 2011 9:58 am 
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The programmer got stuck in the shower because the instructions on the shampoo bottle said, Lather, Rinse, Repeat.

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes Break :D
PostPosted: Fri Aug 12, 2011 9:06 pm 
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Mother and father are programmers. They teaching their kid to speak.

Q: How the cow speaks?
A: Mooo, moo !!!

Q: How the dog speaks?
A: Arf, ruff, ruff !!!

Q: And how the mouse speaks?
A: Click, click !!!!!

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes Break :D
PostPosted: Sat Aug 13, 2011 7:56 am 
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I'd just like to say something:

"Don't give up your day job!"

hahah. ahem.


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 Post subject: Re: Jokes Break :D
PostPosted: Mon Aug 15, 2011 8:18 am 
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Some tech support legends:

3. Another Compaq technician received a call from a man complaining that the system wouldn't read word processing files from his old diskettes. After trouble- shooting for magnets and heat failed to diagnose the problem, it was found that the customer labeled the diskettes then rolled them into the typewriter to type the labels.

8. A Dell technician received a call from a customer who was enraged because his computer had told him he was "bad and an invalid". The tech explained that the computer's "bad command" and "invalid" responses shouldn't be taken personally.

http://www.sloppynoodle.com/joke-techsupport.shtml

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes Break :D
PostPosted: Mon Aug 15, 2011 8:18 am 
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 Post subject: Re: Jokes Break :D
PostPosted: Mon Aug 22, 2011 11:18 am 
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My Friend: "Yesterday, I reprogramm my computer."
Me: "Okay...."
My Friend: "Not my Mac, but my PC. I has Windows Vista."
Me: "Yes, and what language did you use?"
My Friend: (pause) "English."
Me: "English?"
My Friend: "Yeah, English."

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